New Year, New Goals
2016 was a year of ups and downs. What year isn’t!? Sure, my car was stolen 3 days before my wedding, my Mac died, I lost my grandfather, I suffered terrible anxiety among other things, but I also…
Purchased my first home, married the love of my life and FINALLY established clear and concise business goals for me and my family. While I feel beyond blessed for what I was able to accomplish within one year, I am nowhere near comfortable or satisfied. And though we’re told as kids “You’re never satisfied! Be grateful!’, I believe that never being satisfied or not settling for where you are is a healthy and necessary frame of mind.
I have goals in this life, life is short, and I will never achieve those goals with mere satisfaction.
To start off my goal setting for 2017, I did something I should have done a year and a half ago. I made a video of myself stating what my goals for the year are with the assignment of revisiting that very video exactly one year from the date of creation. That video included addressing two MAJOR goals of mine for 2017. For confidentiality and current contract purposes, I cannot reveal the goals until January 1, 2018, but I will say they both require challenging work, extreme patience and crazy faith.
And the most important thing to note is that I’ve been deathly afraid of even attempting these goals for years! I’ve avoided my dreams like the plague for many reasons…
Top 4 Things Holding You Back from Your Dreams
1. Fear of failure – I think most of us can attest to this. What if I try, invest all this time and money, and look like an idiot in front of the world if everything falls apart? I can say after years of prayer, conversation with close friends and plenty of time around my entrepreneur husband, that fear of failure is no longer a little riding monkey on my mind. The attitude of “go for it” has to ring loudly through your being in order to move forward. Yes, you may fail, but that doesn’t mean you won’t eventually succeed. And God knows I’d rather try and fail a million times before I remain in one spot at the same level (that’s an even bigger failure).
2. Fear of incompetence – “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not trained or skilled enough.” “I’ve never done this before.” I call this perfection paralysis, something I’ve fallen major victim to time and time again. I’ve remained stagnant in many situations because I felt unworthy of being a part of the dream. Surely there are plenty more qualified people, who am I to dare think I can start my own business? Be a landlord? Be a model? Be a writer? Be a full-time entrepreneur? But that’s just the thing. You have to DARE to think just that. I came across an entrepreneur on the radio speaking on how she started her business. The first thing she said was, “I had the nerve to believe that I could start business without any experience.” That was it. That was the key. Most people don’t have the nerve to even think they can go beyond the mediocre standards of our society. When I heard her speak those words, it was at that moment I realized I needed some dog on nerve and some dismissal of a whole lot of self-doubt.
3. Fear of judgment – Aside from fear of failure, I had feared the judgment of my peers. I could hear some of them now “Who on earth does she think she is?” “I’m not following or supporting her.” Or “This is dumb. What the hell is she thinking!” Too often we become prisoners trapped on the wheel of perpetual validation. And that is nothing but bondage. You cannot prevent yourself from following your dreams or consciously dim your light because you think it will make others feel uncomfortable. That is absolutely nuts! At the end of the day, most people won’t care or judge you as harshly as you think they will, and even for those that do, would you truly place their comfort and satisfaction of your mediocrity above your own dreams, ambitions and purpose in this life? I had to ask myself that question. And to put it more plainly, I’ll quote a few questions posed often in the south when you’re little. “Are they paying your bills?” “Are they God?” “(assuming you answered “no,” Then why do you care so much about that think? Release that bondage and go be great!
4. Confusion – I honestly didn’t move forward for years because I was confused on what my purpose even was. I toggled back and forth over and over almost daily on whether I wanted to go back to school for a PhD, start a clothing line, go in business with my sister, create a line of candles, renovate houses, create organic food, the list goes on! I had become overwhelmed by my interests, and that’s just what they were. They were all strong interests. But what was my passion? I still didn’t know. But as time went on, I began to put together to pieces. I had a skill. My skill was promoting health – I have a BS in Exercise Science. My skill was also writing – I have an MS in Journalism and Mass Comm. I decided that to ever make a candle, to ever go in business with my sis, to create organic tea for the masses, I had to START somewhere and eventually build my way up, and the only way I knew how to do that was to begin putting my skills to work. That’s when I created this blog. And I love every second that goes into making this thing tick. Being decisive has always been a challenge for me. It took me three months to simply name my blog! But that’s what moving forward with any goal requires – decision-making hardcore! Don’t be afraid to make moves! Don’t be afraid to decide on something! We’ll talk more about building confidence to make decisions in a later post but just know that your goals will never be met without losing indecision and clouding confusion. Think about something you can see yourself doing every day, even until the wee hours of the morning if necessary, and still have an unforced smile on your face. What comes naturally to you? What do you think about ALL the time? Ask yourself those questions, pray about it, meditate on your ideas, talk to someone you trust. But DON’T continue to sit on your dreams because you refuse to make a decision.
Hold Yourself Accountable
I can’t wait to see what this year has in store. As I remove the doubt and step into my purpose, I’m making it a habit to hold myself accountable for the goals I’ve set. I’m making videos of my progress each month and I suggest the same for you! They’re great reminders and fun to do. And there’s something about hearing your dreams spoken out loud from your own mouth that brings a sense of empowerment and “heck yea! I can do this!”
You Got This
It’s your year. And if you tell yourself otherwise you’re making a huge mistake. As cheesy as it sounds, you have to be convinced that this year will be different and that no obstacle will come between you and your dream of being P. Diddy. No matter where you are or how dismal your situation may seem, you have to first believe you have what it takes to start the process of whatever it is you want to do. You, yes you, in all of your confused, clumsy, trying to figure it out, doritosfor dinner sometimes, mismatched socks glory can be great. So... Be great in 2017 phresh friends!